I had finally gotten myself settled in my new little home after selling the marital dwelling where I had finished raising my two precious daughters. It had been a long painstaking process at times to be a single parent and that part of my journey had come to an end.
I was certain this new turning point in my life would prove to be the perfect time to pursue love.
Now instead of just wishing or hoping one day my prince would come, I had technology to help me find him. Haven’t we all given sites like Match.com or Plenty Of Fish a try? That process seemed tedious and time consuming. Almost archaic in light of the current dating apps we now have.
I’ll never forget the moment my single girlfriend introduced me to my first dating app. It was similar to being thirteen years old and your friends invite you out back of your house, making sure no parents are around, and offer you your first cigarette. The rush of doing something you had never done before that gave you pleasure was exciting. Who knew both experiences would prove to be addictive?
First it was Tinder. Swipe right or swipe left. Literally that is all you knew, and you only found that out by accident. These apps didn’t come with instructions. Could it be to cut the costs of the app, since there was no sign-up or membership fee?
Tinder got a bad rap in my opinion. It was touted as a “hook-up” app. Of course those testosterone-driven creatures saw opportunity and took it. Smart women were onto this reality and engaged cautiously. As with anything in life, your experience is what you make it. Swiping right on a guy and communicating right away was like inhaling nicotine for me. I was swiping at red lights, in line at Starbucks, even taking my phone into the bathroom with me. It became an obsession.
I did meet some decent guys and had interesting dates, however love escaped me.
Then that same girlfriend told me of the latest dating app, where girls have to make the first move. It was called Bumble. The quality of guys on this app seemed more serious, more professional. They said they were looking for relationship, but who’s kidding who? A man’s primal need is what they think of first. Again, I found myself swiping, talking and dating hoards of guys. I was beginning to see a pattern as to who I matched with, my type as it were. He was always good looking, always charming, and almost always a lover of too many alcoholic beverages.
This posed a conflict for me. I was looking for an authentic, smart, driven and caring individual. So why did I consider any of my matches, let alone give them a date?
When I stopped swiping long enough to give this important question some serious thought, I realized I was my problem. not the men I was picking. I was the common denominator in all those dates and I needed time for reflection. A dating detox was in order.
In light of my new found insight, I put myself on a self imposed dating fast. I have deleted all dating technology, vowing to only indulge in organic dating, allowing The Law of Attraction to bring me my soul mate. An ideology as old as time.